I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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