Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
