ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
