U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
