FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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