So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
