jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
