dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
