i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
