I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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