By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
