it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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