It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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