omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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