Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just forgot I was standing up.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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