is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
