38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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