you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
