but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
