New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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