i will never coherently bang her
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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