So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
