U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
