next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
