You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
