I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
