there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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