just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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