saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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