what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
