I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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