Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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