Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
