I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
