i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
