just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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