How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
being pregnant is like rehab
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
