I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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