My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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