i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Your topless pictures make me question reality
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
