well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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