The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Success! We fucked roommates!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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