It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
