So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
