I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
