he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
