i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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