Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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