oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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