I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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