We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
